Posted in READS & REVIEWS

We really don’t know.

“We really don’t know. We’re just poor limited human beings. The gold fish doesn’t understand who changes the water in his bowl.” —Magic in the Moonlight (2014)

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Posted in MY THOUGHTS

Hindi na.

Hindi ka na niya mahal. Yun na yun. Ano bang hindi malinaw don?”😂😂😂

–ayos lang na marinig ko ito basta si JM de Guzman ang nasa tabi ko at siya ang magsasabi nito saken. Hahahaha. Tapos makakatulog din ako at paggising ko nakahilig ako sa balikat nya at omg on the way na pala kami sa Baguio, at tapos magsisisigaw din kami sa tuktok ng bundok. Hehehehe. Ayos!!! 😂😂😂

#ThatThingCalledTadhana

Posted in MY THOUGHTS

Super Advice

Natatawa ako dun sa episode ng Bubble Gang dati pa. May bago daw super hero, si Super Advice. Pero sorry, hanggang advice lang siya. Hahaha. 😀

Bakit nga ba ang dali-dali lang mag-advice sa iba? The moment we were asked, we know exactly what to say. In a flash, we already have THE Opinion of the Year.  We say, “Simple lang yan: do this, do that, don’t do this, don’t do that, don’t let him do this and that to you, stand your ground, etc.” We make it sound objective, simple and easy while it is not. It is not.

Dahil pag ikaw na ang andun sa sitwasyon, kahit alam mo ang dapat mong gawin, hindi mo magawa. Tinakasan ka na ng lahat ng willpower na natitira sa pagkatao mo. Dun mo maiintindihan what was holding other people back, yung mga taong inakala mo na ang dali lang ng pinagdadaanan nila. Dun mo din marerealize na mahirap pala talagang sumunod sa mga objective na payo. Dun ka din hahanga ka sa mga taong nagkaproblema, humingi ng advice, at sumunod sa advice kahit nahirapan. 👏👏👏

It’s plain to see we can’t take our own advice. That is why we need friends. We need them to make tuktok our ulo para magising, para gawin ang dapat gawin, at para hindi gawin ang hindi dapat gawin. The problem with us is that, we ask for advice, but do not really listen.  Siguro, we just want to express what’s on our mind (in the guise of asking for advice).  Wala naman pala talagang planong sumunod sa advice, gusto lang magkwento. Hehehe. It is one tricky trade.

Hahhahaha haaaaaaay. Naisip ko lang. Wala lang. Ang lumbay. Hehe. LOL. Ba-byeeee! 👌👌👌

Posted in MY THOUGHTS

Later…

5 years ago, after 3 long years of (not ‘waiting’, I wasn’t waiting) brooding over a failed relationship-of-a-lifetime, I would later meet the man who would make me get over everything. Completely.

I would not fall head over heels at first, nor be impressed by him, even if he moved so damn fine, even if he looked so damn good (😎?), or even if he played the drums and guitar so damn well. I would not even have taken a first look HAD HE NOT played that one song that caught my ears on its first eight notes.  That song belonged to my past, so I asked him to play it again for me, followed by a few others. They belonged to my past, but he would later make them his. He would make them ours.

We would later be friends because of music. But that wouldn’t be enough, would it? We would talk constantly, despite the limitations. And so later we would fall into an intimacy from which we would never recover.

And then would come the pains of fightings, lies, losing of trust, losing of faith, betrayals, falling out, falling back in, and all kinds of shortcomings imaginable… but we would always forgive.

Today, I do still remember everything so vividly I can take you there in a flash. I would later ask him if he still does. 😑

Posted in MY THOUGHTS

What happens to a dream deferred?

San mo ba pwedeng ilagay, itago, ibaon o itapon ang kaisa-isang pangarap na hindi na matutuloy. . . ?

Simple lang daw ang sagot: pwede mo daw itong ibigay. . . Sa susunod na tao na pwedeng tumupad nito. 😣 Tangina diba ang saklap. Ang ganda ng plano. You live to see that day come true. You have been working your ass off to make it happen; when days were long and hard, the thought of it kept you going. Now you are being asked to let go of it, to give way, na para bang turn sa pagsakay sa tricycle lang ang hiningi sayo at mamaya siguradong may darating ulit agad. Hell, no. Right?

Kalma lang.

A dream that is deferred won’t go away. But one thing is sure and clear:  it won’t come true anymore, either. What happens to it, I do not know. It only gives us a chance to give it our best shot, and do what we can about it. If it still fails, we put it in our hand, curl it in our palm, and TRY to hand it over to someone else. Even with a heavy heart, yes.

Sigurado, it will hurt to see it coming true for them… not because that was your dream, but because you know your dream is not the dream itself– it was the person you have been dreaming it with. Siya talaga yung pangarap mo eh. Siya. 😣😫😭 …

Ayan, ba-bye na muna. Andito na ang sunod na tricycle. ;):)😂

Posted in MY THOUGHTS

Sincerely happy

To the guy I loved for more than half a decade: Nagmessage ako sayo para sabihing masaya ako para sayo. Nung una hindi ko kayang sabihin ito nang may sincerity, kahit may mga sarili na tayong buhay noon, hanggang ngayon. But it’s been so long. Ngayon, totoong napapangiti ako, kapag naiisip ko na andyan ka na sa estado ng buhay na masaya na. Ikinagagalak ko na nasa mabuti ka nang kalagayan– natupad mo na ang mga pangarap mo, kasama mo ang taong mahal mo, at ginagawa mo na ang mga bagay na gusto mo.

Without any hope or agenda. Promise. Naalala lang kita bigla.